Where is Your Heart?
I sit here at my job and I am looking out of someone's dining room and watching the sunlight filter thru their blinds. I find myself wishing...............for what? Ummmmm......I honestly do not know....yet! It has been a while since I have blogged. Life got soooo busy and I think I have perimenopause. There are days I am so exhausted it is debilitating! Where are my 40 and above girls at? You know I tell myself I need to start reading books or a book with a title of Knowing what to expect when your are 40, 50, 60, ect. Do you dream of project after project......I do! There are so many things I would love to change and get done but there is not enough time in the day so those project dreams get put on the back burner.....just for a bit. As many know my husband and I built our house and the colors are white, black, with gold accents. Decorating our home has been put on the back burner for four years. We've had so much going on. Yup! I know what I wish for.......I wish I had more time! More time for waking up slowly to make a pot of coffee and watching the sunrise from my lanai. I wish I had more time with my little family..................my wishes...........dont we all?! With the economy in America steady declining a lot of families are having to work more hours to make ends meet. It is so awful! I remind myself I am not the only one having to work to make sure our families have what we need. So! Stay strong! Make your ends meet for your families. We are basically in the same boat right now so lets all get an oar and row together! My husband and I have started to stay home and cook on Sundays. It is just cheaper to not waste gas, cook at home, and relax. Enjoy your house payment.....one way to look at it!
I have to say as an American...........I am disappointed in us. We see brutality as strength and having mercy for others as weakness! I am shocked even at the church.......not all churches....but most churches at how we have gotten behind this message and even applauded it! Have we forgotten that the whole existence of the church is the great commission....to save the lost from the flame?! If one soul can be saved than it is worth it all. The church is Christs bride and she has become ruthless! Where is her heart? Her heart is in politics! We have closed our eyes to pain, suffering, and wrong......willfully! We refuse to call out the wrong around us...especially Christians! I have stopped myself and asked........are we in a time of a weak deception? I have even looked at my own heart! I remember a time in my teens and twenties I was a Pentecostal Christian and a Firm hard core republican.......I believed bad things happened to people and there was nothing that could be done and would just simply shrug my shoulders and go about my day! I did not have eyes of mercy or even care to understand! Red all the way! My whole attitude was.....it was not happening to me so........I simply did not care! Oh! The Christian I was! I went to church and that was Christian enough for me! There are churches that are sounding the alarm and calling out the wrong within herself and I am so thankful for that! I saw that ugly streak with in myself and was sickened. There are people in this world who need to rediscover Christ and I will be the first to say I am one of them! When I turned 29 I began to change how I saw politics. How can politics and Christianity mix? They cannot mix. In Christ there is true freedom and there should be true freedom in democracy. People can choose to do what they want BUT we will all give an account to everything we did on this earth! I believe the church needs to call out the wrong in politics especially the red side....Republican! Why? Because Republicans claim to have Christ on their side and that in itself should be looked over with a fine tooth and comb! When Jesus comes back he will start judgement in his own house.....the CHURCH and that is why we should call ourselves out even more....because we claim to have something. The world needs to see the church calling out the wrong with in herself! The world needs to see the church defend and call everyone to Christ! You know what? We as Christians talk down about transgender, gays, lesbian, Muslim, or anyone that is not christian BUT give me a Christian who can sit down and befriend and lead someone to Christ! I say Muslim because the Republicans are running their campains on Muslims and transgender for the midterms right now. The message is Them against Us.........when Jesus died for the whole world.......he wants all souls. We worry about someones lifestyle but we do not know the first thing on how to bring a soul to Christ! We the church has failed every transgender, gay, or lesbian..........why because we do not know how to even plant a seed of Christ in friendship to anyone! What has happened to God's people in such a time as this?! We have lost sight of why we belong to God. Will Jesus find faith when he comes back? Jesus, I am sorry to say, No! You will most likely not find faith. I have even lost my own faith.
Now! Seeing with new eyes........This earth belongs to the Lord and he gave everyone their own language and they are able to speak their God given language anywhere on God's earth! When we speak against someone speaking their God-given language....(everything we are goes back to God), then we are speaking against God! America was once a beacon of hope for every soul now she has alienated herself from everyone and has become ugly....along with the church behind her! The church belongs to the Lord! I believe there will be a time the church will realize what she has done and she will repent. She will realize who she is in Christ and what her mission is here on earth! She will not crawl nor walk.....she will run to the lost and she will run to answer the call! Will you answer the call?! She will have a heart again! A heart that beats to the hum of the Lord! She will defend those being wronged again! She is a great army of the Lord! Oh! How we have fallen from the Lord!........Even myself!
There is such an outcry of defending to save America! Why are we not crying out to the world...that the time is at hand?! Christ is coming back! Shouldn't we be telling everyone America will never be the same? Shouldn't we be having our ear to the ground and our eyes looking and watching for Christs return. Should we not be crying out like John the Baptist...repent.......for the time is at hand! Instead we have rallied behind a president and have become obsessed with bringing to a cause to save America and we have to keep America a float! This message is wrong! America will be no more and Jesus is on the horizon! I love America but that love only goes so far! I see the signs of the times and Jesus is going to be back very soon! We need to search our own hearts and prepare the world for Jesus coming! May the Lord help us back to him! I believe America needs Jesus more than the rest of the world right now! She no longer stands for what was right! She now stands for her own selfish gains and looks at the rest of the world as if they are out to get her. Sadly, she is no longer a beacon of hope!
There is a remnant in America who have not sold their soul to whatever we want to call this ugliness! There are still churches that are sounding the alarm and are still standing up to this.....so called strength! There are people who are crying out that something is wrong here! Unfortunately the cry seems to be falling on deaf ears! I can see our nation is going down more and more everyday! My thought is always the same.......how do they not see it? This weak deception is showing who the church really is....who we really are in Christ. These are really sad times for America! Oh! America! Where is your heart!
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With working so much I have let weeds overtake the road to friendships and life in general. I have to admit I am not a good friend! Friendships can include my family friendships.......I have let weeds overtake those pathways. I have to be honest.....I do not even care! Too tired to care! One thing about honesty......I can be brutally honest and I do not mean to be ugly......I just hate to be dishonest. I have to say I see the Lord pushing me out there! My sister in law and brother in law recently moved in kind of across the street from us at a bit of an angle. They come over and we go over and I really love them being near us...........but with my introvert self it wears me completely out! I have to rise and shake myself out of my dang hibernation bear self and drag my self to get dressed and go and muster all my sister in law self to be a part of the family! Of course this is how I am when I love my people........can you imagine if I disliked people......they wouldn't even know if I was still alive! Oh the things I push myself for the people I love!
Sometimes we need a good push! Thank God for those pushes and pulses that keep or force us to get going! Helps us to remind us we need to keep living! There have been a lot of times I see myself slowing down and even I have to pinch myself and say hey! Let's go! Move! Live! Resting is wonderful and all but we have to find that balance to rest and live! I cant seem to find that balance! Balance find me, please!
My husband and I are JUST getting around to personalizing our farmhouse. We are like everyone else in America.....we are working hard to make ends meet. When we have a little extra money left we will pour it into our home. This time we decided to repaint our fireplace black! I love the color black. Black is timeless and sleek. We put gold glitter in the paint to show some speck of gold on the fireplace. It was a long drawn out process......we started out super excited and then we puttered out and finished. It took us two weekends to finish the darn thing! Then because we are soooooo young......we got the bright idea my husbands game room needed to be painted black also! Gosh we were sick of the paint black being all over us and on the floor! We were exhausted! Why anyone would like to paint for a living is beyond me! Thank God for painters! It was a process and we endured to the end and I have to say it is BEAUTIFUL! We absolutely love it! We also realized we had too much white in the house. The colors are starting to balance out......at least something is balancing out!
NOW! I am working on my lanai. The lani has gone to the dogs and cats.........it looks lifeless. I really did let my lanai go. Of course, it was not by choice, it is just like everyone else, I work a lot! I would open my lanai door at times and look out and see the dead plants....looked like a murder scene, and I would shut the door very quickly and shut the door blind.........who wants to see that?! NOT ME! Most of my real plants have unfortunately passed away. I have been ordering small fake plants since I forget to water plants and some have passed on from this world. I figured might as well make my life a little easier. Since fall is here I am trying my best to get the lanai together and decorated....to sit outside and enjoy the cooler weather. Really plan on putting the lanai to some serious use for fall and winter....in Florida.
The next project is my lanai, diningroom, and then guest bathroom, which I will share in the next blog.....meaning I am going to personalize it. I have been buying everything to decorate the house lately thru Vinted! I am not promoting Vinted but I do shop for my home decor on Vinted. I bought all my husbands favorites he wanted for his game room on Vinted! For my dining room decor it is all from Vinted! I have become obsessed! I do not want people thinking I make all kinds of money because we do not. I just shop for a heck of a bargain! Never ever pay full price of you can help it!
For the ending for this blog I want to leave you with this..............keep working, I know times are really tough but do not give up! I believe times are going to get even worse but you can make it....we can make it! We all have struggles and that means we are alive! Im sure I can say this with confidence......we are all sharing that same road of struggling financially. If it makes you feel better I put way more hours at work than my husband and his job is really slowing down.....he usually works more than me! I just tell myself Lord I am thankful for my job and I have my health to be able to help support my family.
Check yourselves and make sure you have eyes to see people like Christ sees people! Gaurd your hearts in such times as these. You can make it! You are loved! Be safe! Be strong! Your heart is important,
Sonya Marie
Till next time.
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